Tuesday, April 13, 2010

For The Love of Giada...

If you are my friend, relative, BFF, Facebook friend, Twitter friend or stalker, you probably know about that incident where I almost burned my kitchen. If you're just tuning in my awesome life, let me relive that day.

Your smoke alarm is going off!

April 8. Thursday. I came home early from work. I went to the store. I prepared dinner. I was making Giada's Pasta alla Formiana. It said cook for an hour at 450 degrees (which I did). But since I was so obsessed with losing weight and having the body of a European supermodel I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood and grab a cupcake from Crumbs. Twenty minutes into my workout, with cupcakes in hand I got a text from my upstairs neighbor -- "Smoke alarm in your apartment is going off!" Holy Mother of God! Are you kidding me? I ran back to my apartment like Usain Bolt (maybe faster). At the same time I could hear the fire trucks behind me. I was 5 blocks away. I almost wanted to yell, "I know where you're going! I need a ride back to my apartment!" while flagging the firetrucks down. As soon as I reached my block I saw three fire trucks and an ambulance. I seriously thought my building was on fire and my tenants/neighbors were burned to death. Inside my apartment I saw close to 15 firefighters and a cloud of smoke. It felt like heaven minus St. Peter and the smell of burned food. When I walked in my kitchen one of the firefighters said, "The good news is, dinner is served. In the sink!". He was mocking me of course. But he is cute so I let it pass. I am just so thankful no one got hurt and there were no damages! After the firefighters did their thing, I apologized to my neighbors. I went on with my life. I tweeted about the incident. I updated my Facebook status and then called my husband. I know. I know. I should've called my husband first.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Things I've learned.

1) Our smoke alarm works.

2) Oregano smells good even when burned.

3) I can run really fast. I should train for next year's LA Marathon.

4) I will never lose weight because I consider "walking to a cupcake store" a workout.

5) Crumb's cupcakes are still good even if they look like they were stepped on.

6) Giada got me in trouble. Just kidding. I don't know how I'd do it, but I plan to tell her my story. Anyone know where I can reach her agent? Oh wait. She's on Twitter.

7) Beverly Hills Firefighters are HOTTTTTT! If I wasn't too traumatized I would've started another fire just to see them again.

8) I am now popular in my neighborhood. Everybody talks/gossips about me. I may just have won the title "Village Idiot".

9) I got the best workout of my life that day. Jillian Michaels would be proud.

10) Soup & flat bread are a good substitute dinner for pasta. Especially burned pasta.

Vladimir Lenin said, "Any cook should be able to run the country. " Except the cook who sets the oven at 450deg and leaves.