White Guys and Their Filipino Store Adventures

If you're just tuning in, I'm married to a white Midwestern guy. You see I grew up in the Philippines and just like any Filipino who moved to another country I miss my Filipino food (more than my family..but shhh! Don't tell them that.) Fortunately, I live in LA where there are a lot of Filipino stores. The nearest one, located in Koreatown is a 15 minute drive from my apartment. Seafood City is probably one of the most popular Filipino stores in the US. They have stores all over LA, San Diego, NorCal and Las Vegas. Yes. Whether you like it or not we are everywhere (don't worry we only bite when provoked!). Now going back to the whole point of this blog. Once a month my husband and I drive to Seafood City to get my Filipino food fix. I call it the Tour De Freak only because I think I kinda freak him out with the stuff I expose him to. I bring him along because I want him to experience my culture (plus he's my chauffeur). My husband is such a good sport. He eagerly walks around the store with me. Most of the time he is the only white dude in the store and everyone gives him that look -- like WTH-is-this-white-guy-doing-here look. The first few times I brought him along he would have this confused/shocked/amused look on his face and would ask me a lot of questions -- What is this? How do you eat this? Is this food or decoration? What is this called? How do you pronounce that? Why is the fish staring back at me? You actually eat those? WTH are fish balls? Why does shrimp paste smell like old fish?. That was before. Now he's more acclimated and comfortable.

Today was one of those Tour de Freak days. My husband waited in the car while I went shopping. In the seafood section I saw a white guy with his Filipino wife. While the woman was shopping the guy stood in one corner with their cart. He had the same confused/shocked/amused look on his face. It seems to me that he wasn't enjoying this adventure at all. I can't blame him. If you're not Filipino, there is some weird stuff in that store that will give you nightmares. For example:

1. Chicken feet - Especially with the nails on, they are freaky.
2. Pig Blood - When cooked it actually looks like chocolate but doesn't taste like chocolate.
3. Liver, heart, kidneys, intestines, tripe - In other words ORGANS that you don't see in your local grocery store.
4. Duck eggs (Balut) - Hello? They made it to Fear Factor.
   
5. Fish head - They stare back at you but they smile at you.

A newbie might find Filipino food to be a little overwhelming, but it's time to take a break from Olive Garden, Applebees and Panera Bread Company.

Steve Nash... this one's for you!

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After watching Manny Pacquiao destroy Ricky Hatton, Steve Nash mentioned on Twitter his admiration for the Filipino boxer and his desire to become an honorary Filipino. Sorry to break your heart Steve but that honor belongs to my husband, Mr. Ober Da Bakod. To answer Steve Nash's question, here's how you earn your stripes:

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Date, marry or just be friends with a Filipino
This is the easiest way to get in the Filipino mafia circle.This is also the easiest way to be an honorary filipino. Warning: Once you're in, there's no turning back. Remember, it's a MAFIA.

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Learn basic Filipino words
Unfortunately, the only Filipino words the hubby knows (by heart) are the nasty, ugly & bad words I've taught him throughout the years. I really do not have the patience to teach him a lot of decent filipino (tagalog) words. Plus, I am not a decent woman. Go figure! I appreciate, however that he tries to learn on his own through Twitter & by watching Filipino news or movies with me. I'm really good at translating (maybe I should go work for the UN).

image souce - Gem's laptop. I have a collection of Filipino buffet photos.

Eat Filipino food (without fear)
Filipinos LOVE their food. If you go to a party (discussed in detail later on), there is always a huge spread of food. Salads, burgers, hotdogs & pizza have no place in filipino parties. Expect to eat rice, noodles, pork & beef. Expect some Bizarre food. Do not fear. The trick is not to ask too many questions, just open your mouth, chew and swallow.

image is from our family reunion I attended in 2005. This is just half of the whole group.

Go to a filipino party (birthday, anniversary and graduation)
When you are invited, just go. You don't wanna piss off the grandmas, uncles & aunties. Expect to be introduced to a lot of relatives. Bring a pen & paper to keep track of the family tree. Expect a lot of food, singing (discussed in detail later on), chismis and laughter. When grandma asks you to eat, just eat and eat like there's no tomorrow. You will gain a lot of weight but you will also gain the admiration of Lola Puring & Tita Nene.

That's me! Singing a Karen Carpenter song at my Grandma's 75th birthday party!

Sing at least one Videoke song
I cannot think of a filipino household that does not own a Magic Mic. The Magic Mic is a microphone that you connect to your TV and has a chip loaded with 5000 songs. It's an All-in-One Karaoke machine. Every filipino has a "singer" in them. Everyone can sing! It is not a surprise that there are a lot of Filipino singers who are world renowned (Arnel Pineda -- Journey, Charise Pempengco, apl.de.ap -- Black Eyed Peas, Lea Salonga). So next time you are at a filipino party, don't be shy, grab that mic and start belting out that Aretha Franklin or Bon Jovi song.

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Watch The Filipino Channel
Like the magic mic this is a must have in a filipino household. I, however, do not have TFC at home coz I'm too cheap to include it in our Dish network package. I've brought the hubby to a lot of Filipino parties that he is now very familiar with Wowowee & Kris Aquino. We also have Filipino news (free) on cable that he watches with me. Wowowee, Kris Aquino & Filipino News are the only things you need to know to become an honorary filipino.

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You should be able to understand Filipino English.
Aircon is for A/C, CR (Comfort room) is for bathroom & Ref is for fridge. That's how we say it. Learn it, understand it deal with it!

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You know what Jollibee is
Simply put, it's the McDonald's of the Philippines. Like it's American counterpart, it has burgers & fries. However what makes Jollibee unique is it's filipino friendly menu: Filipino spaghetti, palabok, peach-mango pie etc. Mmmmm.. yumm-o! The hubby and I may have to visit this week. He loves the chicken joy! It's yummy and it gives him soooo much joy!

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You've had rice for breakfast (atleast once)
If the mexicans love their tortilla & beans, the filipinos love their rice. Rice is staple filipino food. We eat it for breakfast, lunch, snacks & dinner. Like pasta, it can be mixed with anything. I grew up eating fried rice with sausage, dried fish & eggs for breakfast. I now eat bagel, yogurt, fruit, cereals for breakfast (ugh!). The hubby has yet to do this & prove to me that he deserves to be an honorary member of the Filipino mafia.

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You know Manny Pacquiao
If you do not know who Manny Pacquiao is & you haven't seen a single fight then FORGET IT. You simply do not belong.


Hopefully, I have answered Steve Nash's question. It's not easy to be an honorary member but it sure is a lot of fun!

Bizarre Foods with Mrs. Ober Da Bakod

Bizarre is a french word that means "odd" or "fantastic". Bizarre and food together mean Fear Factor material or something Andrew Zimmern will eat. Reading the hubby's latest blog topic brought back memories of life & food in the Philippines. When I saw Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern Philippines Edition, I laughed. I laughed because I ate almost everything he ate (except for the worm & crickets). Sure we are famous for our adobo and lechon (Anthony Bourdain said it's the best he's ever had) but what makes us even popular are the "weird" foods I am about to tell you. And, YES I have tried them all.

Balut (Duck Embryo)
Why it's COOL: It has been featured/used on Fear Factor as a means to disgust contestants. It is traditionally considered as an aphrodisiac (I cannot confirm this).
Why it's UNCOOL: People who see or eat this the first time think they are Feasting on Aborted Fetus. Cmon.. it's duck not human.

One Day Old Chick (and other popular street foods)
Why it's COOL: It's a popular street food. Tiny & crispy. You won't even know it's a baby chicken.
Why it's UNCOOL: Please refer to Balut.

Pig (The Unused Parts/Organs)
Why it's COOL: Nothing goes to waste. Name it, I've tried it. Heart? Rubbery. Liver? Tough. Intestines? Chewy! Tail? Tough. Ears? It's like al dente pasta. Blood? Bloody-licious.
Why it's UNCOOL: Sorry, there are no LEFTOVERS. Keep your ziploc & brown bags at home.

Dog Meat

Why it's COOL: It really doesn't taste like your pet.
Why it's UNCOOL: A dog is a man's best friend.


Durian
Why it's COOL: It's the KING of fruits.
Why it's UNCOOL: It's fucking disgusting. WILL. NEVER. TRY. AGAIN.

Salted Dried Fish
Why it's COOL: It's fish therefore It's healthy.
Why it's UNCOOL: It stinks when cooked. Seriously. Your neighbors will call 911.



Salted Fermented Fish and/or Shrimp Paste
Why it's COOL: Synonymous to Anchovies. Not really. Kind of.
Why it's UNCOOL: Should I describe how it's made? Google it.



Frog
Why it's COOL: It tastes like chicken.
Why it's UNCOOL: Think about eating Kermit The Frog or Kerokerokeroppi. Too cute to eat.

Traditional Filipino cuisine is not as colorful, artistic & famous as French or Japanese. Like the Filipinos, it is a mixture of different cultures which makes it unique & irresistible.

***Because I like Bizarre foods & I am exotic, Brian & I decided that if and when we decide to join the Amazing Race, I will do all the eating.***