Steve Nash... this one's for you!

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After watching Manny Pacquiao destroy Ricky Hatton, Steve Nash mentioned on Twitter his admiration for the Filipino boxer and his desire to become an honorary Filipino. Sorry to break your heart Steve but that honor belongs to my husband, Mr. Ober Da Bakod. To answer Steve Nash's question, here's how you earn your stripes:

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Date, marry or just be friends with a Filipino
This is the easiest way to get in the Filipino mafia circle.This is also the easiest way to be an honorary filipino. Warning: Once you're in, there's no turning back. Remember, it's a MAFIA.

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Learn basic Filipino words
Unfortunately, the only Filipino words the hubby knows (by heart) are the nasty, ugly & bad words I've taught him throughout the years. I really do not have the patience to teach him a lot of decent filipino (tagalog) words. Plus, I am not a decent woman. Go figure! I appreciate, however that he tries to learn on his own through Twitter & by watching Filipino news or movies with me. I'm really good at translating (maybe I should go work for the UN).

image souce - Gem's laptop. I have a collection of Filipino buffet photos.

Eat Filipino food (without fear)
Filipinos LOVE their food. If you go to a party (discussed in detail later on), there is always a huge spread of food. Salads, burgers, hotdogs & pizza have no place in filipino parties. Expect to eat rice, noodles, pork & beef. Expect some Bizarre food. Do not fear. The trick is not to ask too many questions, just open your mouth, chew and swallow.

image is from our family reunion I attended in 2005. This is just half of the whole group.

Go to a filipino party (birthday, anniversary and graduation)
When you are invited, just go. You don't wanna piss off the grandmas, uncles & aunties. Expect to be introduced to a lot of relatives. Bring a pen & paper to keep track of the family tree. Expect a lot of food, singing (discussed in detail later on), chismis and laughter. When grandma asks you to eat, just eat and eat like there's no tomorrow. You will gain a lot of weight but you will also gain the admiration of Lola Puring & Tita Nene.

That's me! Singing a Karen Carpenter song at my Grandma's 75th birthday party!

Sing at least one Videoke song
I cannot think of a filipino household that does not own a Magic Mic. The Magic Mic is a microphone that you connect to your TV and has a chip loaded with 5000 songs. It's an All-in-One Karaoke machine. Every filipino has a "singer" in them. Everyone can sing! It is not a surprise that there are a lot of Filipino singers who are world renowned (Arnel Pineda -- Journey, Charise Pempengco, apl.de.ap -- Black Eyed Peas, Lea Salonga). So next time you are at a filipino party, don't be shy, grab that mic and start belting out that Aretha Franklin or Bon Jovi song.

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Watch The Filipino Channel
Like the magic mic this is a must have in a filipino household. I, however, do not have TFC at home coz I'm too cheap to include it in our Dish network package. I've brought the hubby to a lot of Filipino parties that he is now very familiar with Wowowee & Kris Aquino. We also have Filipino news (free) on cable that he watches with me. Wowowee, Kris Aquino & Filipino News are the only things you need to know to become an honorary filipino.

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You should be able to understand Filipino English.
Aircon is for A/C, CR (Comfort room) is for bathroom & Ref is for fridge. That's how we say it. Learn it, understand it deal with it!

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You know what Jollibee is
Simply put, it's the McDonald's of the Philippines. Like it's American counterpart, it has burgers & fries. However what makes Jollibee unique is it's filipino friendly menu: Filipino spaghetti, palabok, peach-mango pie etc. Mmmmm.. yumm-o! The hubby and I may have to visit this week. He loves the chicken joy! It's yummy and it gives him soooo much joy!

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You've had rice for breakfast (atleast once)
If the mexicans love their tortilla & beans, the filipinos love their rice. Rice is staple filipino food. We eat it for breakfast, lunch, snacks & dinner. Like pasta, it can be mixed with anything. I grew up eating fried rice with sausage, dried fish & eggs for breakfast. I now eat bagel, yogurt, fruit, cereals for breakfast (ugh!). The hubby has yet to do this & prove to me that he deserves to be an honorary member of the Filipino mafia.

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You know Manny Pacquiao
If you do not know who Manny Pacquiao is & you haven't seen a single fight then FORGET IT. You simply do not belong.


Hopefully, I have answered Steve Nash's question. It's not easy to be an honorary member but it sure is a lot of fun!

Football, Marriage and Teamwork

It's football season again. Whether I like it or not I am forced to participate in Brian's football psycho-ness. If there is one thing I learned from watching football, it is TEAMWORK. Different individuals with different abilities put their efforts together to achieve a common goal. Marriage is the same thing. I'm no superwoman. Brian is no superman either (although sometimes he thinks he is). At home we split the housework and agree on who does what.


Laundry:
Gem sorts.
Brian loads machines.
Brian plays XBOX game.
Brian unloads machines.
Brian resumes XBOX game.
Gem folds (yeah I have a certain way of folding & this is not negotiable).
Gem puts everything in closet (unless they have to be put away somewhere really high).



Cooking:
Gem goes to the store.
Gem preps all ingredients.
Gem cooks.
Gem eats.
Brian eats more.
Brian takes all dirty dishes, pots & pans in the sink.
Gem sits on couch.
Gem tweets.
Brian watches TV (dirty dishes are still in sink)
Gem reminds Brian to clean the dishes.
Brian says "Yes, babe!"
Gem updates FB.
Gem watches her TV shows.
Gem reminds Brian (for the 2nd time) to clean the dishes.
Brian says "I'll do it after one game of XBOX".
Five games after, Gem reminds Brian about the dishes. She is now pissed.
Brian promises to do the dishes before going to bed.
Gem goes to bed.
Gem is snoring.
Brian finally cleans the dishes.


Cleaning:
Brian helps move all the furniture.
Gem vacuums.
Gem dusts.
Gem mops the kitchen & bathroom floor.
Brian cleans the toilet.
Gem bitches about how she hates cleaning.
Brian tells Gem to shut up & finish cleaning.

Shopping & Bills (simply put):
Brian pays bills.
Gem goes shopping with Brian's money.

And that Ladies & Gentlemen is how we keep our home nag-free zone.

Bizarre Foods with Mrs. Ober Da Bakod

Bizarre is a french word that means "odd" or "fantastic". Bizarre and food together mean Fear Factor material or something Andrew Zimmern will eat. Reading the hubby's latest blog topic brought back memories of life & food in the Philippines. When I saw Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern Philippines Edition, I laughed. I laughed because I ate almost everything he ate (except for the worm & crickets). Sure we are famous for our adobo and lechon (Anthony Bourdain said it's the best he's ever had) but what makes us even popular are the "weird" foods I am about to tell you. And, YES I have tried them all.

Balut (Duck Embryo)
Why it's COOL: It has been featured/used on Fear Factor as a means to disgust contestants. It is traditionally considered as an aphrodisiac (I cannot confirm this).
Why it's UNCOOL: People who see or eat this the first time think they are Feasting on Aborted Fetus. Cmon.. it's duck not human.

One Day Old Chick (and other popular street foods)
Why it's COOL: It's a popular street food. Tiny & crispy. You won't even know it's a baby chicken.
Why it's UNCOOL: Please refer to Balut.

Pig (The Unused Parts/Organs)
Why it's COOL: Nothing goes to waste. Name it, I've tried it. Heart? Rubbery. Liver? Tough. Intestines? Chewy! Tail? Tough. Ears? It's like al dente pasta. Blood? Bloody-licious.
Why it's UNCOOL: Sorry, there are no LEFTOVERS. Keep your ziploc & brown bags at home.

Dog Meat

Why it's COOL: It really doesn't taste like your pet.
Why it's UNCOOL: A dog is a man's best friend.


Durian
Why it's COOL: It's the KING of fruits.
Why it's UNCOOL: It's fucking disgusting. WILL. NEVER. TRY. AGAIN.

Salted Dried Fish
Why it's COOL: It's fish therefore It's healthy.
Why it's UNCOOL: It stinks when cooked. Seriously. Your neighbors will call 911.



Salted Fermented Fish and/or Shrimp Paste
Why it's COOL: Synonymous to Anchovies. Not really. Kind of.
Why it's UNCOOL: Should I describe how it's made? Google it.



Frog
Why it's COOL: It tastes like chicken.
Why it's UNCOOL: Think about eating Kermit The Frog or Kerokerokeroppi. Too cute to eat.

Traditional Filipino cuisine is not as colorful, artistic & famous as French or Japanese. Like the Filipinos, it is a mixture of different cultures which makes it unique & irresistible.

***Because I like Bizarre foods & I am exotic, Brian & I decided that if and when we decide to join the Amazing Race, I will do all the eating.***

Say what??!?

First, let me say that English is my second language. Second, let me tell you how I learned to speak, write & understand this language.

1.) I studied in a school where the language of instruction is English (except for 2 or 3 subjects).
2.) I watched a lot of American TV shows growing up.
3.) I read a lot of Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew & Sweet Valley High books.

Which now brings me to my third point, when I moved to the US in 2003, I found out there is more to the english language than meets the eye. The Americans use idiomatic expressions and they pronounce/enunciate words differently. So imagine the confusion on my face when I first heard the words/phrases "hit the sack", "dark horse", "kissing cousin", etc. Fast forward to 2009, I am now married. My husband is white. He is from Michigan. He is smart. Except for a little spanish, he can only speak English. Living with him is full of "Huh?!" and "What???" moments. Of course, all referring to how I pronounce words.

One time I asked him to bring me to a Filipino store. He asked: "Do you know where it is?" To which I replied: "It's on Sunset, right by Denny's." I pronounced it as "Den-kneees". Then he asks again: "Where? What?" To which I replied again: "Den-knees!!! We went there before!!! Remember our waiter Nazareth?" At this point I was already pissed & wondering if I married a deaf guy. Then he says: "Oh Denny's!" (and he laughs)

I can remember a hundred more of these type of conversations but this one stands out because it was pretty funny.

Even though he makes fun of my english (in a funny way), he also admits that my english is better than his Tagalog.

Not The First Time

So... I'm blogging again. I used to have one but it did not prosper simply because I got too damn lazy! Then I got sucked into social networking then found Twitter and got sucked into this microblogging site. Me (lazy blogger) + Twitter (140 char tweets) = Perfect Combination! So why blog when you can tweet? WRONG. I now realize that there is so much information (like how I torture my husband at home & kick his ass in bowling) that I come across that I wanna share with unknown, possibly nonexistent audience. And I would NEED more that 140 characters. Thus, the birth of this blog. So, why "Mrs. Ober Da Bakod?" Check out the Mister's first blog. Yes! I forced (read: pointed a gun to his head) him to do his own blog too.