Monday, October 26, 2009

Today, I play Matchmaker...

The other day I was chatting with my grade school friend and she casually mentioned if I could set her up with one of my single American friends. This made me think. HARD. Really hard. Why the eff not? I mean if the Jews have JDate and pet lovers have all these ridiculous dating websites then why can't I play matchmaker between Filipinos & Americans?

My dating history and my very "successful" relationship with my American hubby makes me a credible matchmaker, right? I also have a handful white, latino, black, persian guy friends who are wishing to end up with their own Pacific Island princess.

Fil-Am Dating 101

American men (and other nationalities), here are things you need to know about Filipino women...

1.) Filipino women are beautiful.

We stand out. Our features are unique. We do not look like our Asian neighbors. We are neither white nor yellow. We are brown which makes white people very jealous. Now, I'm not saying our Asian neighbors are ugly. In fact, I should credit them for their contribution to our culture and exotic breed.

2.) Filipino women are generous.

We like to help our family back home in any way we can. Western Union is still in business because of us.

3.) Filipino women are opinionated.

Your opinion counts but our opinions count more. DUH. We've had 2 female presidents. Nuff said!

4.) Filipino women are caring and supporting.

If you are married to a Filipino woman you don't need to worry about a retirement home or a caregiver coz she or her relatives will take care of you. However, you also don't want to take advantage of her because she will not hesitate to break your balls.

5.) Filipino women are respectable, understanding and patient

We were raised to speak politely and never engage in arguments or quarrels. We should act refined and lady like and never bring shame to the family. I don't know what happened to me. I guess, I am the exception to the rule.

Filipino women, here are things you need to know about American men...

1.) American men like sports.

If you can't beat 'em join 'em.

2.) American men like to drink.

If you can't beat 'em join 'em.

3.) American men like extreme activites (bungee jumping, sky diving, skiing, etc)

If you can't beat 'em join 'em

4.) American men like to eat boring, white people food.

Between LA and New York there's nothing but Applebee's and Olive Garden. If you can't eat 'em join 'em.

5.) American men like porn.

If you can't beat 'em join 'em.

See? Men, in general and American men specifically are simple, like Corky from Life Goes On.

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